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(by Nathalie Cordell)
Client: I want more time
Coach: Time for what?
Client: I don’t know! Time for me, time to just be!
Coach: Time to just be - I hear that. And what would that feel like?
Client: Oh I don’t know - freedom, peace… I just want peace!
Sounds familiar?
This is an imaginary conversation between a coach and a client. But to be honest, it could be a real one. In fact, I've had similar conversations with several clients. But I’m also pretty sure that’s how my very first experience of coaching went. I was being coached for the first time after arriving at what felt like a dead-end in my career/life.
I had the best boss, the best team and a great job - but I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I didn’t want to be doing what I’d been doing for 15 years, for another 15 years. I just didn’t have a b*$@%y clue what I wanted. Yet, that longing for freedom, for peace, for space was so strong. I just couldn’t really put words to it.
With hindsight, it was my soul calling me for more. “It’s time”, she was saying. “It’s time to stop hiding. Time to come out of your comfort blanket and really face what’s inside you - all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. Time to wrap your arms around it all and say: this is me - this is who I am. This is what I have to offer and this is what I want.”
“It’s time to stop hiding. Time to come out of your comfort blanket and really face what’s inside you - all of it... Time to wrap your arms around it all and say: this is me - this is who I am.”
And oh boy did it scare me! But strangely, what scared me most wasn’t the ‘bad’ stuff. I’d done a lot of work on that already (although there was and still is more to be done). I knew I had a controlling, perfectionistic and critical side to me. I knew that I could be argumentative, blunt and driven, to the point of seeming uncaring. I knew I had a lazy side too, a part of me that just wants to hide under the blanket and watch TV all day. So I certainly wasn’t scared to ‘own’ it, though I had a much harder time seeing the beauty in these parts and welcoming them with open arms as equally important parts of me.
No. What truly scared me was what was really in my heart, once I let all the ‘demons’ out. After peeling off the layers of protection (the controller, the perfectionist, the critic, the cynic, etc.), what was left was a tidal wave of love. It feels so flat writing it down - I am not sure I can do justice to what it really feels like to reach for the inside of your heart, after years of protecting it.
It felt so big that I thought I might get washed away in it. So much love. Soooo much love!! What do you do with so much love??!! How do you contain it?!
What truly scared me was what was really in my heart... a tidal wave of love - so big that I thought I might get washed away in it.
I think that’s why most of us prefer to hide. It’s less scary.
It takes courage to take the time to just be - because you never know what may come up when you allow yourself to stay still and listen to the longing in your heart.
I didn’t know what to do with all this love. But gradually, with a little help from my friends (coaches, mentors, spiritual teachers and guides), I found a way to contain and express it.
Why am I sharing this?
Because if this feels familiar to you, I want you to know that you are not alone.
As a Psychosynthesis coach, I can help you with the ‘bad’ and the ‘good’. I can help you see the beauty in the parts of you, which you may resent. And I can help you find a way to contain and express whatever is in your heart. So that together, we can pour more beauty and love in the world.
If that resonates and you’re ready to take that first step, book a call with me.
To learn more about me or how I work, check out my website (cordellcoaching.com) and feel free to connect on LinkedIn or Facebook.
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